Au Revoir to the Small Man of The House

So here it is. Another deadline ignored. Another long slimy turd dropped in the mouth of the electorate by a Parliament of crooks, thieves, perverts, wastrels, popinjays, tyrants, pederasts, charlatans, time servers, jobsworths, bellicose Scottish racists and sly soulless dissemblers.

But it is the last day, at last, of the worst Speaker in the history of the British Isles, the most absurd little Napoleon to ever preen himself in public. It is the last day when this disgusting dwarf, this little man in every way, can treat the British constitution as his personal abused plaything, like a spoilt Chihuahua worrying a rag doll. The unctuous and appalling likes of Ronnie Campbell MP greeted his last PMQ’s session with honeyed praise, like depraved courtesans murmuring in the ear of a bondage clad Persian Emperor. “You have defended democracy” Ronnie declared.

Think about that line. “You have defended democracy”. Think about how vast the distance between the kind of slow moving brain that can select those words for Bercow and the reality that the rest of us inhabit. It is like telling a rapist, voice trembling with gratified emotion, that they have defended chastity. It is like telling Fred West how much you admire his family values. These people are not on the same planet as us. They move through a fog of vain illusions, warmly congratulating themselves for every shocking error and every disastrous sin.

A dishonest man in politics is a fish in a stream. He has found his natural habitat. We may not like it, but we can at least anticipate it. But these MPs today are not dishonest. No liar would choose those words to describe Bercow. They are too obviously false, too tellingly ridiculous. The likes of Ronnie Campbell actually believe this stuff. There are people who believe that Bercow defended democracy. When you pick your jaw up from the floor, that’s worse than any lie. Because that, my friends, is pure insanity. We are governed by sincere lunatics.