Bold and daring Phoenix rises from ashes of egregious hate facts attack

In a bold and daring move, an actor, Mr Joaquin Phoenix, has stood up at an awards ceremony – natch – and told lots of other actors exactly what they wanted to hear.

“It was stunning and brave. He confirmed all our preconceptions,” one attendee gushed.

“I’ve never had my own bullshit summed up and delivered back to me so perfectly” enthused another indistinguishable guest.

“What’s really great about it is that it seems humble and everything, but it’s really hugely arrogant and means we don’t have to think for ourselves or let facts ever get in the way. I love that,” added a beaming actor.

“I’m just trying in my own little way to get white people lynched. Not the white people here, obviously, the poor ones who live in black areas,” Mr Phoenix explained “I just feel it’s time we started sacrificing them, you know?”

The wonderful atmosphere of tolerance and equality was momentarily marred by a man shouting FBI black crime statistics, spraying a number of innocent bystanders with hate facts, but witnesses say the man was swiftly overpowered and removed by security before any serious injuries were sustained.

A wild-eyed lady was also reported to have attempted to interrupt the exclusive event where it is believed she planned to deploy a reminder of population percentages, but fortunately was prevented from reaching the main auditorium.