Virgin Media’s latest ad lays bare the saccharine vacuity of capitalism

Saint Branson blesses you, child.

Is anyone else revolted by the saccharine, sentimental, fake bullshit of the Virgin Media coronavirus ad? This is a company headed by a man who tried to sue the Blessed Holy NHS and as soon as coronavirus struck the UK he started demanding public funds be ploughed into his other companies despite the vast reserves of both of those companies and his personal fortune.

I hate the way the ad pretends that personal tragedies, which are surely the most significant result of a pandemic, are somehow willed away by a bunch of other fucking attention seeking morons dancing around in their PJs on social media. Yep, that’s so fucking uplifting, thanks for your efforts. Hey, here’s a guy pretending to surf in his living room. That must mean everything is ok then. Small kid doing homework. Bunnies. Sunset. Woman dancing and brushing her teeth at the same time. Old couple who still get pissed together. It’s a checklist of banalities. I’m just surprised they don’t have someone swimming with a dolphin. Don’t worry, everything is fine, stroke a fucking dolphin.

But the whole point of a pandemic, whether you think it’s exaggerated or not, whether you agree with the measures being taken in response or not, whether you worship the NHS or not, is that it is not a normal situation. The people personally affected, I would think, don’t want some corporate exploitative shit-fest of cliches shoved down their throats in what is essentially a grab for more money. It’s the perfect example of the grotesque nature of woke capitalism: modern corporations we know to be utterly ruthless and self serving who nonetheless swaddle themselves in an oleaginous, false compassion.

In many ways I find that far worse than the honesty of a Gordon Gecko.